You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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