I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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