Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize