Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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