i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize