Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
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