her vagine was all disorganized.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
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today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
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this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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