if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
My first STD was from a foam party
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
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