I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
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