her vagina looked like bernie madoff
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize