once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
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it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
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There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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