she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
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He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
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Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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