she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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