quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
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i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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