Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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