i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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