Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
You can't just leave with hair like that
Randomize