There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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