shes about as inviting as chlamydia
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
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your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
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So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
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