I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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