Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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