If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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