Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize