Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
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you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
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I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize