So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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