apparently the secret to your success is patron
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize