i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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