Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize