I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
