OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
being pregnant is like rehab
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize