But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize