Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize