After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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