Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize