I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize