hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
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Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
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Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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