I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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