dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
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Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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