yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize