i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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