I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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