we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
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5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
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I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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