I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize