She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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