He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize