Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
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I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
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how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize