Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize