make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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