dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
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at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
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It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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