There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize